Fun Hour - Courtsey Indian Foreign Service

Last week I happened to visit the Indian Consulate in New York for passport renewal. Apart from the that mundane task, the visit proved to be an hour of live show of comedy central.

Here are two snapshots,

The Old Man
As I entered, an irate old man was arguing with a cool consulate officer. Apparently, the consulate has gone the "IT" way and the man was not happy.

3 dialogs,

Dialog 1 - Old Man from south India and the Cool officer

Old man: So what do I do. Ha, tell me Sar
Cool officer: Sir I have told you for last 2 hours that you need to fill the
form online and then take a print. No physical forms.
Old man: How..how can you say that, haa. I am old, I don't know computer. I
don't have computer. Tell me how should I do it, haa. Should I buy a
computer to fill your form. Tell me, why should I buy it.
Cool Officer: I cannot answer that Sir. Pl. go to a friend or a public library.
Old man: Why should I. Why should I. I need a form. Tell me how to get it.
Cool officer: Sir, pls stand in that line and ask those ladies (they seem to be more
senior that the cool officer).

Old man gets his first win. I happen to be behind the old man in the line.

Dialog 2 - Old Man and Me

Old man: This is wrong, it is crazy. I came here at 9 o'clock and after 2 hours
finally he agreed to let me in the line. I will fight.
Me: (Faint smile)
Old man: I need a form. I cannot go online. How..how can they say that, haa. I
am old, I don't know computer. I don't have computer. Tell me how to
do it, haa. Should I buy a computer to fill the form. Tell me, why
should I buy it.
Me: Yeah, its strange. They should have physical forms..(I like consensus).
Old man: I never had this problem. I am in US for 25 years
Me: (what...you look straight from Chennai. It seems you came here after
lunch and before siesta)
Old man: I need a form. I cannot go online. How..how can they say that, haa. I
am old, I don't know computer. I don't have computer. Tell me how to
do it, haa. Should I buy a computer to fill the form. Tell me, why
should I buy it.
Me: yeah.. (I better keep discreet)
Old Man: My head is spinning since he told me no form. How can they say that.
Me: yeah...(whatever)
Old Man: I will fight
Me: (silent yeah)...(it will be fun bit I don't want to be in crossfire)

We get to the desk. 2 lady officers. He moves ahead when one of them gets free. I can almost here my heartbeat....impending fight.

Dialog 3 - Old Man and the Lady Officer

Old Man: I need a form for passport renewal. I do not have computer
Lady Officer: I cannot answer that Sir. Pl. fill it online.
Old Man: Okay Madam. Thank you.

Old man goes. I almost forget its my turn. Indian diplomacy wins !!

A Very Old Man

While me and the old man were having dialog number 2, a very old man finally made it to the desk. Apparently, he was there for PIO card for his grandson (or great grandson ?).

Dialog: Very Old Man and the Lady Officer

Very Old Man: (gives lot of papers). Documents maam.
Lady officer: (Inspects the documents). Sir please submit all the documents
Very Old Man: I have maam. Your website only mentions these documents
Lady Officer: Sir please check again. I need 2 copies of this document and the
original. Copies of that document need to be notarized. And this one,
this is okay. And need a proof of your relation to the child.
Very Old Man: Madam, bachhe ko leke aawun kya ?
Lady Officer: (speechless)...Nahi Sir, etna kijiye, main PIO card de dungi
Very Old Man: (Collects documents) Ok maam. Sirf document leke aawunga.

Very Old Man goes. I cannot laugh as the old man will get angry.

Grand old Indian Foreign service, you rock. Hoooorah to Indian Diplomacy.